Focus Your Energies

Don’t create for anyone but yourself, for within yourself is the satisfaction you desire. How can one hope to please everyone? That's right! You can't. And since you can't, you shouldn't fret with people that don't understand your vision. Just ignore anything that isn't constructive. 

Be persistent and focus your energies on what you want to achieve. Splitting your mind amongst many different things will prevent you from mastery. Resistance will become your tomb. Resistance is a tomb, by the way.

On your epitaph is nothing you can ever read. So, die for yourself as well. Life is one shot. Don't get lost in the idea that you could die before you achieve anything of merit. Seems as if we are more enthralled by novelty, and less by actual skill. But God is interested in devotion. He wants to know if you'll honor the gift that was given to you, or will you squander it, wasted like orange juice on your kitchen floor.

The Witching Hours

"There is one simple thing wrong with you. You think you have plenty of time." - Don Juan Matus

There are witching hours each day. The hours, speculated between 12am and 2am, that supernatural activity is most prevalent. Pagan mysticism. These hours are also said to be prohibited for any Catholic worship. But I ask you, do you put limits on your worship? Are there limits to the work that you will do, especially when it needs to be done?

Hours that ask questions and we delay the answer. We delay because we fear work. We fear the hard answers. We are the bird that cannot learn to fly, for it has never left the cage.

BUT THE CAGE WAS NEVER LOCKED!

Just try the fucking door and you will be able to walk free. Is this too much for the average person? Must be, because there are only a few that can escape the illusion of lack that blinds the world. Charles Bukowski was a staunch proponent of work, because he understood that hard work sets apart the powerful and the mundane. Michael Jordan. Salvador Dali. I could name hundreds.

Man doesn't truly want freedom. True freedom, means WAR. A war within the self that means challenge and frustration. It could mean uprooting everything that you thought. All that you believe. Sleepless nights. Poverty. Disdain.

We cannot be boxed in when work must be done. So the witching hours will see work as well, and you will defy the tenets of restraint and age old codes of performance. You will be free.

I Look for Motivation

Determination. Tenacity. Patience. Devotion.

They are what is missing from these days. Beyond the joy I feel from my family and the blessing they bestow, God has gifted me with a yearning for completeness. A need to be whole. In my mind I reach for such a desire with gusto, but I am denied because my devotion is lacking. I no longer feel devoted to myself.

This is an angle I never foresaw, and it leaves me bewildered. There's an aching in my mind that I cannot reach, like an itch in the narrow of my back. But, I still seek out an answer.

I read constantly. I look for motivation. For words. Ideas. Thoughts. And I am always missing something. Something. I think if I did find something, somehow I might not know how to utilize it. More than likely, it’s a matter of will, and I’m just too weak right now to accomplish it. That’s the hard and honest answer. The simplest. K.I.S.S. method and all that.

Either way, it won’t stop me from searching. I guess that’s the beauty of it all. The persistence of the journey and the surprises that avail you as you go.

I wish you fortune and blessing in whatever journey you face.

A Wonderful Day

Got up this morning, thinking, that death, the inescapable monolith of the unknown, could be but a hair's width away from me.  It looms, unpredictably swaying, casting various shadows that lend to misdirected ideas and unhurried dreams.

Today, though, is likely not my day. 

However, I think we as human beings, suffer from the idea that we have enough time.  That time is actually on our side. That we might make it all count for something before the final curtain closes on that last scene, the audience gripped in awe and anticipation for the climax. But no one sees the bow. We never hear the applause.

We want it all, don't we? The big high-five and the gold medal.  The fame. The money. The fucking cheers. 

Pushing the covers away, I slide out of bed.  My wife is still sleeping, worn out from our baby girl's night calls.  As if on cue, I hear her through the baby monitor. On the screen I see she's tossing her head, lightly, side to side, before she succumbs to rest again. Thirteen pounds of beautiful.

I wonder if my wife feels the pains of her years as I do? I wonder if she thinks of life getting better and better? What if we each don't realize our greatest ambitions?

Questions for another time I suppose. 

My feet on the floor already, I stand up, and I hear the pops in my knees before I feel them. It's gonna be a wonderful day.

Sugar Addiction: 5 Quick Steps Down the Road to Freedom

The struggle to liberate yourself from any addiction, seems to lie within the strength of your will power. What is most puzzling is that the Bible tells us how there is a way that a man knows, but that is not the way. The more I think on this and as I attempt to conquer this thing with my own strength, I am waking to the fact that this will take more than just me.  Sugar addiction is rooted deep in the physiology, and it is even harder to escape because so many food products are laced with it. It's hard to win a battle when the game is rigged against you.

There are some things that have helped me find small victories each day.

1. Write down or record what you eat.  I use my Fitbit app to record my eating habits and it helps because you are more cognizant of what is going into your body. Jenny Craig is also great for recording what you eat.

2. Talk about that which you're struggling.  I record small videos of myself as a reminder for how I feel during my most weakened times, where my will power is at a low.  This really helps to fortify myself for the next day or the rest of the remaining day.  It's also comforting to express the pains of the process.

3. Get an accountability partner.  My wife is pretty much my go to person with this whole sugar liberation thing. I let her know that I don't need any sugar and she makes sure that I don't have any or sneak anything.

4. Be forgiving.  Don't be down on yourself if you fail. Just get back into the driver's seat and continue towards your destination.  This isn't an easy process nor will you win every battle.  The goal is to win the war.

5. Stay prayerful.  Make sure to place these desires in your prayer time.  Making your goals known to God is important because he paves the way for your victory.  Have faith, and continue forward despite any fears.

These are just some of my weapons in this war on sugar. There is a link below for additional support from some real experts.  Good luck and God speed!

Sugar Addiction Support

Daily Devotional: You Lack Nothing

Philippians 4:19

19 And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.

Even in my suffering, my own "first world problems", I reach out for the comfort of Christ.  I am, by no stretch of the imagination, perfect. I stumble.  I fall. But I also know how to get back to my feet.  If there is an experience of lack in my mind, it is only a temporary vapor, dissipating in an instant.  

There is truly nothing that we lack.  As the Bible says, even as God supplies the animals with all they need, how much more will he do for us, his most cherished and beloved on this planet?  In our problems, it is hard to see the forest for the trees therein, and we get caught up in the future of what could happen instead of being concerned about the very moment.  

The Bible instructs us to not be concerned about the issues of tomorrow, for tomorrow has enough issues of its own.  We should not be worried about what will happen, but more concerned about what is going within us and within the moment.  

Have you ever sat down to meditate on God, in complete solitude?  Did you notice how peaceful it is to feel the moment and live within it?  Reading the Word will do this if you allow it.  Everything that you need is there; all the answers you seek are at your fingertips.  He will give you all that you need, if you just come to him and ask.

Praise God for his love and mercy. 

Be blessed. 

Daily Devotional: God is All Around You

Psalm 139:7-10

7 Where shall I go from your Spirit?
Or where shall I flee from your presence?
8 If I ascend to heaven, you are there!
If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there!
9 If I take the wings of the morning
and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
10 even there your hand shall lead me,
and your right hand shall hold me.

Doesn't matter where you go or which way you turn, no one can hide from the glory of God.  All around you are the signs: majestic trees that grow green and sturdy, a variety of beautiful animals, insects and sea life and of course what lies beyond this planet, in the void of space. Did you know that if the planet earth was moved in the slightest from its projected course around the sound, we could either freeze to death or burn up?

It's hard to fathom that there is a God that thinks of our well being and wants the best for us, but nothing in this world stands at mere chance.  As a matter of fact, scientists love to try and disprove the existence of God, but one thing can be said to quell most of this rambling: every action has an equal and opposite reaction.  Science is deeply rooted in cause and effect.  Without one, there could not be the other.  So, knowing that the universe had to have been created, the there must have been a creator.  Science indeed says that such is a FACT and not CONJECTURE.  Some want to call it the Big Bang, but there must have been something that did the banging, right?  

God is omniscient, forever present beyond our senses.  We cannot perceive him in our current state, except through prayer and meditation.  Even then, we can never "see" him as we see one another.  However, people, in their own arrogance, refuse to humble themselves before God an imply that we should. They say that God cannot exist, because why would he put us here?  It's such a terrible place! Unfortunately, the arrogant will always refuse to prostrate themselves before God, and true comprehension is lost.  God put us here to bring us closer to him   We inflict pain and trouble on one another at an alarming rate.  

I won't be a fool.  God is all around us.  In the clouds of the sky, in the plants of the fields and in the face of that person you hold so dear to your heart.

Be Blessed.  Amen.

Daily Devotional: Your Spiritual Appetite

John 6:27

27 “Do not labor for the food that perishes, but for the food that endures to eternal life, which the Son of Man will give to you. For on him God the Father has set his seal.”

We are a nation of obese and lazy people. Even our military is overweight. It's a sad state of affairs when the people that should be able bodied are having a hard time with being disciplined.

We don't thirst and hunger for the food of the soul, that meat that nourishes our very being. God's word is there for us to study and meditate on, yet we find ourselves busy doing things of no consequence. I am guilty if this, for sure.

I pray that you all seek the manna of God, that he feed and water your very being. Be blessed with his word and find your appetite is renewed, your palate now ready for a more worthy meal. Look within and see that you could never be without.

May God grant you strength to endure this harsh world. Amen.

Daily Devotional: The Love of Money

Hebrews 13:5

5 Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”

An important scripture in this day and time, for this spirit (the love of money) is pervasive and moves its evil freely about the land, choking the life from the people. Truly, we love money. It is an idol, amongst many other idols, but it may be the most prevalent.

When you turn on your TV, it is difficult to avoid this idea of want, for they show us products and services that we can pay for or possess. We think we need these things to enhance our living. But I'm telling you, everything we want, we do not need.

Money, of course, is a necessity to live in this world. Don't be mistaken, however; this doesn't make it the "everything". God is our all and all. We must not forget that he supplies us with the ability to earn. Make sure that we have separation between the two, the thing created and the creator. We owe nothing to money, but we owe all to God.

"Render unto Caesar what is Caesar's... ". With or without money, remember that God is there for you. Therefore, don't misuse it, and make it just what it is: a means to procure goods and not a reason to live! The love of money is a root of all kinds of evil, my friends. Use wisdom to discern how to use it to glorify God and live with love.

May God bless you today!

Amen.

Daily Devotional: Suffering to Persevere

Romans 5:3-5

3 More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, 4 and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, 5 and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.

Lord knows that I have been through my own suffering, as we all have, relative to our situations. I continue towards a better day, hoping that I can make the right choices.

As human beings, our plight is to endure and be remade in the process. There is not one success story that I have read that doesn't specifically discuss the trials that came with it. It is like we are going through a refining process, readying ourselves for the future.

So, I say that one shouldn't shy away from hardship. It will come, in one form our another. Your character will result from the way you handle those very problems. We have choices to make during those times, and God willing, they will be the right ones.

Even, if things turn out bad, do not despair. For this is but a time, and it will pass. When it passes, you will be all the better for it.

Blessings.

May Jesus be the light to your darkened path, and a shelter during the storm.

Daily Devotional: Pray for Rain Amidst the Drought

“When I shut up the heavens so that there is no rain, or command locusts to devour the land or send a plague among my people, if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land."
– 2 Chronicles 7:13-14 (NIV)

We expect God to forgive us, but often we forget that we still must repent for our sins. We must seek God in earnest, asking not only for forgiveness, but for guidance.  We look toward him for deliverance, and we must find our way here, on the earthly plain while he works outside of time.

God does not condemn us to torment and pain. Often, we find ourselves on this path due to the problems we face and what we do to each other.  We are all connected.  Each and every one of us is linked, and what we do individually will eventually affect someone else; and so on, and so forth.  Surely, you did not think you were here on this planet, alone, eking out your existence in lonesome drudgery? No, my friends. We are here, together.  And until we understand this mere fact, that we share an eternal and fateful connection, we will consistently suffer each other's hurt over and over again.

Humility is not something one comes by easily.  It takes effort to admit you are wrong.  You, who have committed sin against another, will likely not admit it to their face.  We barely like to admit that we are wrong. Isn't that sad?  But God in Heaven shows us that forgiveness is not something that is just given, but earned and worked for, because you have to be able to forgive others, first.

May you be blessed today.  Amen.

Daily Devotional: Through The Flame

Isaiah 43:2

2 When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you;
when you walk through fire you shall not be burned,
and the flame shall not consume you.

My father asked me today if I was feeling alright. He asked me if I was depressed. My father is quite insightful, able to see certain signs in my behavior. I told him that I was fine, although yesterday I had begun to think negatively about my present state of affairs. I had almost succumbed to the thought that I had failed. Yet, my father, being who he is, told me that this is only a temporary situation. Very true. It is indeed temporary.

I told him that even as it was temporary, I felt that we all must reap what we sow. We all pay for the choices we make sooner or later, whether they are good or bad. He was in agreement and conveyed that he felt much the same about his cancer.

But through these trials, God is always with us. He doesn't desert us, no matter how we feel about our situations or our lives. This scripture was perfect for today, and I must meditate on its perfection. It is like a sharp sword; how much the Word is like a soothing medicine. It heals and cuts. The word builds and destroys. May it give you peace and torment, bringing you to the Light of Day.

Amen.

Daily Devotional: Lacking Faith

Night and day we pray most earnestly that we may see you again and supply what is lacking in your faith.

– 1 Thessalonians 3:10 (NIV)

And in this, I functionally declare that it is sometimes hard to come to people, God's people in church, and see their faces, knowing how foolish I am and have been.  Often, I cower from within, possibly a symptom of a childhood shyness that should have fallen away long ago.  It is my hope that people do think of me, even so, praying that they see me again, with the intense hope that my faith be multiplied due to their diligence and love.

God almighty be thanked, for he brought Jesus low so that we might ascend the heights.  These "heights" are metaphorical only, as the heart of God is neither in the sky nor out in the expanse of space.  God exists in the hearts of men, so that we may expound upon his grace, and illuminate the dark spots of our world.  It is for us to share, so that we supply what is lacking in one another, that we may be made whole in our faith.

Even today, I wished failure upon myself, seeing my meager struggle as an obstacle, and not a blessing. So easy to forget, in times of distress, that God will supply all that I need.  So easy to fall prey to false pity, goaded by foolish pride, crying foul to all around you for your plight.  But the bed is made by you, and you must lie in it.  Accept your struggles as part of life and the result of what has happened in the world as it is, for we are all connected.  Yes, it is true: what you do will affect others, whether adversely or for gain.

I follow you, dear Jesus, for you saved me from myself.  I look to you in my time of trouble and need. so that I might not despair.  

God bless.

Idols

I always find a way. No matter what, I'm never down for long. Life, with its fucking complicated twists and turns can be terribly jarring for the one affixed to the life he leads. Sometimes, you have to give yourself a bit of distance from what your life is in order to see what it can become.

What I mean is that you can't be so attached to everything and be too comfortable to make changes. Sometimes, life won't give you warnings; it will upset your livelihood in a blink. Holding on too much, too tightly, will make letting go that much harder.

There should be no other idols before the one God. We make idols out of those things that usurp God's importance in our lives. If you would rather smoke weed than read the Bible or go to church or if you hold your shoe collection a bit too dear to your heart, then those things have become idols.

Be cautious. You will find it difficult to see the truth of God if you are spending time on things that are inconsequential.

Another day dawns, and I feel like I can conquer the world. Trying these days to immerse myself in my gifts and recapture, better yet, reclaim, my talents.

I've stopped playing video games for the time being, prepping myself for a more glorious life. I can see that God wants something more from me, so I will put myself in a place where I can give my best. It was a long time coming, but I have my hands open to receive.

Who I Am

Cogito. Ergo. Sum.

For I am who I am; my name is my name. I tire of these things, these games I play. I find myself traveling further from who I am. I cannot hide anymore. Where can one run to get away from himself?

Tomorrow begins a new work. A new day where I look forward to building upon the foundation that God gave me. One that is my birthright, and has been passed on through my family.

The artist, I am. The artist I will become. I will find a way.

Astray

It's easy to be lead astray, for the world is full of much temptation. Where we walk, our footsteps are heard, and impressions are made. Even as we are oblivious to much, many are watching.

The corridors have traps and the road welcomes tribulation. Situation after situation will challenge us, hurt us or mend our broken hearts. We may not be ready, but life moves forward, regardless of what we believe or want.

In all things, God remains. Wherefore you tread, He is present. So, if you are lead astray, look to your soul, your inner man, for guidance and God will answer.

I walk a tough road, and receive correction at every step. I am hearing God speak, but I pray for better interpretation. Maybe my footsteps drown out His voice.

Much Illumination

Starting over has been...challenging. Seems I've come full circle.

Much illumination comes with frustrating circumstances. When the lights are turned on, they often reveal things we aren't ready to see, things that we never even knew were there in the first place.  Surprises.

I shake my head at it.  Seems insurmountable sometimes.  Still, I do not lose heart.  Even as the doors are slammed in my face, I look for the lesson in it all.  I placed myself here, believing in what God can do when you rely and believe in Him.  Therefore, I have no choice but to trust in His plan and let him guide my steps.

My last interview was at NORC, the National Opinion Research Center.  I interviewed for one of their service desk positions.  They declined to offer me a job because I didn't have enough Active Directory experience.  Fair enough.  But it was a great interview, nonetheless.

God bless the downtrodden.

The Staircase

Ascending the steps of winding staircase, its warm carmel wood shown worn smooth, years of slender caress made it so, I begin to slow my pace.  I pause and look up, the steps creaking with my weight, and I wonder what is there, higher on.

What causes us to wait, and not press on?  Fear of the future?  Do we avoid success? Are we too cowardly to face uncertainty, rather surrounding ourselves with the familiar and safe?

Do not die inside, wondering what could be, before you've ever set your eyes forward and fought to your goal.

   

The Fallacy of Time?

You can at least notice it, bit by bit.  You can notice how time creeps forward, edging itself into your space, creating the inevitable discomfort with your location and who you are; who you have become. Honestly, I find it intriguing to read that some physicists believe that time is a fallacy.  They say that it is nothing more that a mental construct that catalogs moments of change.

It's hard to wrap your mind around such a thing, because, quite frankly, most people don't have the mental capacity to be physicists.  Most people avoid thinking altogether. Fine with me. Ignorance is bliss, as they say.  Guess that's why I find myself wrestling with life: because I'm not stupid, and I won't fall for just anything.

Dialing it back a little, I'll say that if time is a fallacy, then God is the reality.  He must exist outside of time, in whatever form he is in, doing whatever he must do. Yet, even as he exists outside of time, I know he resides in all of us.